DBT Skills to Use Around the Thanksgiving Table

DBT Skills to Use Around the Thanksgiving Table

By Julia Salerno, M.S., LPC

As we gather around the Thanksgiving table, it's important to recognize and acknowledge that this holiday can bring its own set of challenges and triggers for many individuals. During this time of celebration and gratitude, various factors such as differences in opinions, complex family dynamics, or societal and cultural expectations may arise, potentially leading to moments of tension and unease. However, we can build up our Thanksgiving tool box by integrating the techniques of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). By harnessing the power of DBT, we can maximize our potential for creating harmonious and enriching connections, and truly embrace the spirit of Thanksgiving.

DBT Skills for Thanksgiving

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DBT Skills for Thanksgiving 〰️

Here are some DBT skills to consider utilizing around the Thanksgiving table

1. Mindfulness—Practice being present in the moment without judgment. As conversations arise, direct your attention to the present. Observe your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations without giving in to any urges to react impulsively. Focus on your breathing to ground yourself in the here and now.

2. Radical Acceptance—Thanksgiving gatherings can often bring up past hurts or unresolved conflicts. Practice radical acceptance by acknowledging that the current moment is as it is, regardless of whether it aligns with your preferences. Let go of any need for things to be different and remind yourself that you have the power to choose how you respond.

3. Distress Tolerance—When faced with difficult conversations or differing opinions, utilize distress tolerance skills to prevent emotional overwhelm. Engage in self-soothing activities such as deep breathing, using sensory objects, or taking breaks when needed. Remember that you have the ability to tolerate discomfort without reacting impulsively.

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4. Non-judgmental Stance—Be mindful of judging others or their viewpoints. Recognize that everyone has their own unique experiences and perspectives that shape their beliefs. Practice suspending judgments and adopting a non-judgmental stance. This can help foster empathy and open dialogue with others.

5. Effective Communication—Use interpersonal effectiveness skills to communicate your needs and boundaries effectively. Use "I" statements to express your thoughts and feelings without attacking or blaming others. Listen actively and validate others' experiences, even if you disagree. Seek common ground and find compromises when necessary.

6. Self-Soothing—If tensions arise or emotions become overwhelming, engage in self-soothing techniques. Take a moment to step away, engage in deep breathing exercises, repeat positive affirmations, or visualize a calm and safe place. Prioritize self-care and ensure you have healthy coping mechanisms in place during and after the Thanksgiving gathering.

7. Cope Ahead—Plan in advance for challenging situations. Talk to a supportive person and agree to be allies. Take a walk outside for a mood boost. Change the conversation to something positive. Find a quiet room for some space. Call a trusted friend for support. Ask questions to engage with others and ease anxiety.

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8. Use Your Wise Mind—Using your Wise Mind means having a resilient mindset. In other words, let things slide off your back. If a conversation turns political and becomes a heated debate between opposing sides, it's best to avoid it, especially during Thanksgiving when people have strong opinions. Change the topic, ask a question, or end the conversation. Keep in mind that the purpose of the holidays is to bring families closer, not push them apart.

Remember, implementing these DBT skills at the Thanksgiving table is an ongoing practice. It may not always be easy, but by incorporating these skills, we can foster a more compassionate and supportive environment for ourselves and others. With mindfulness, acceptance, and effective communication, you can navigate Thanksgiving with grace and create meaningful connections with our loved ones.

If you're looking for a supportive and compassionate space to explore your emotions and work through challenges, don't hesitate to reach out to Spilove Psychotherapy. We understand the importance of finding the right therapist who can truly listen and provide guidance tailored to your unique needs. Don't wait any longer—give yourself the opportunity to embark on a transformative therapeutic journey today!